Some songs arrive fully formed. Others take years to find their voice. For Boston-based artist and mixing engineer j dylan paul, 'sisyphean' has been seven years in the making, a slow-burning evolution from an instrumental synth track into a poetic, guitar-laced meditation on desperation, struggle, and the pursuit of meaning.
The debut single marks the beginning of paul’s first full-length project, 'i didnt ask to be a bird', set for release early next year. Blending shimmering synths, live drums, and emotive vocals, 'sisyphean' sets the tone for an album that’s as intimate as it is expansive. Paul, who identifies as non-binary and uses they/them pronouns, sees the project as an offering of solidarity and resistance; grounded in queer collaboration, anti-capitalist values, and a deep belief in music’s power to hold grief and hope at once.
So with the new single available now, we sat down with the artist to find out more about their origins and what has inspired them most over the years.
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What was the first instrument you fell in love with?
Violin. According to my parents, I was somewhat obsessed with it, as early as 18 months old. I’d point at pictures of violins and mime playing. I’d draw them everywhere. I started learning to play as a four-year old and kept up with it till I was 16, when a bone-density problem made bowing too painful. But by then I’d already started focusing more on writing music.
What kind of music did you love when you were younger?
I was super into progressive trance in middle school. I think I heard “Airwave" by Rank1 and then went down a rabbit hole. That and like, Newgrounds flash game soundtracks by artists such as ParagonX9. I mostly used YouTube to listen to stuff and there was this channel called Xmillsa that had a bunch of that kind of underground electronic music. Eventually I got into more mainstream dance and EDM, and was super into deadmau5 and Skrillex for a while. But mostly their unreleased stuff.
What was the first album you remember owning?
On my iPod, it was Ministry of Sound’s Classic Trance Nation compilation from 2008. Stuff like “Fly Away” by Vincent De Moor, “Deadline" by Dutch Force, “Veracocha” by Carte Blanche.
My first vinyl record was 4x4=12 by deadmau5. I was 16. My girlfriend at the time knew I was planning on getting a turntable so she got it for me.
What is the one song you wished you could have written yourself?
“Hiding” by Modern Baseball. “Stitch the gaps that destiny assumed // With floral sutures // Are you hiding or have I abandoned you?” So good. And the moment when the drums fully come in on “Across your floor and future” is one of my favorite moments in all of music. It’s a really good representation of the kind of emotion I want people to feel when they listen to stuff I write.
Do you have any habits or rituals you go through when trying to write new music?
I probably should, huh. Not at the moment. I typically wait till I have an idea in my head, then produce it. Since I spent so much time listening to and learning to produce dance music, I still approach most of my work as an “edm producer,” laying everything out in MIDI with synths and then singing over that. Then a while (in this case, years) later it’ll get replaced with real performances.
Who are your favourite artists you have found yourself listening to at the moment?
Modern Baseball, Greet Death, Sam Austins. Lorde’s latest record has a few really stellar songs on it too - “David,” “Current Affairs,” “Favourite Daughter.”
If you could open a show for anyone in the world, who would it be?
I mean, the music doesn’t exactly fit but like. Anyone anyone? Chappell Roan. Very into her politically and I listen to “California,” “Casual,” and “Good Luck Babe” regularly.
What do you find is the most rewarding part about being a musician?
Making stuff with other artists. Seeing a project or a performance grow and evolve and then get shared with the world. Sharing that sense of accomplishment with your collaborators. And seeing the effect it has on listeners.
And what is the most frustrating part?
Besides capitalism and the fact that Spotify’s CEO is more interested in funding AI Weapons than paying musicians royalties? Marketing has never stopped feeling weird and a little gross. I think that’s why I rely so heavily on other artists’ work, like the animated music videos I’m commissioning for my singles. ‘Cause then it feels like I’m promoting their art and mine just happens to be there for fun.
What is the best piece of advice you have received as a musician?
People resonate much more with writing than with production, mixing, or mastering. Those things are important, but they often won’t make or break a record, as long as it’s not fatiguing to listen to. The musical ideas will. Make sure those are solid before worrying about the rest.
Talk to us about the queer involvement in making “sisyphean”
I’m lucky to be part of a queer creative arts group called Rotary (@rotaryarts on Instagram), that encourages community and collaboration across media types. The cover artist for both “sisyphean” and for my upcoming record (i didn’t ask to be a bird) is in that group, as are three friends who wrote lyrics for songs on that record.
I’m also in the Pacing Music Band Nation discord server (which is a lovely community full of progressive people) because I mixed Pacing’s Real Poetry LP. [Officially, Real poetry is always about plants and birds and trees and the animals and milk and honey breathing in the pink but real life is behind a screen.] Through that server, I met Pacing’s creative director, who is trans, and commissioned her help with creating promotional material for “sisyphean” and the upcoming record.
It’s been horrifying to see the kind of rhetoric and legislature that’s being popularized in order to deny trans people their rights, their dignity, and their safety. As someone assigned male at birth, who still comfortably presents masculine, I have some privilege that I’m hoping to leverage in the effort to fight against the spread of that hatred.
What’s the message you are hoping to spread?
The future of humanity depends on our ability to evolve past capitalism and bigotry. To put the Earth over profit, to honor the worker above the shareholder, to treat shelter, food, and healthcare - including abortion and gender-affirming care - as human rights.
To paraphrase David Lynch (as Deputy Director Gordon Cole), we must fix our hearts or die.
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Listen to j dylan paul's new single 'sisyphean' in the player below.